For most of us, our bedroom is our escape after a hectic day, and often, we can even catch ourselves counting the time left until we can retreat to our beds and drift off to sleep. Our own daily escape from the demands our jobs, kids or other tedious tasks that have literally drained us.

But this escape serves no purpose when we suffer from insomnia or find it difficult to get to sleep. And because of these sleep struggles, we end up dreading the moment when we have to turn in.

If the last bit described you, then you don’t need to stress. Our sleep environment can impact our ability to drift off to sleep but there are things you can do that can make it easier to fall asleep:

1.      Get the Lighting Right

Not all light is equal. Some types of light, especially blue light, can mess with your body’s ability to create the sleep hormone, melatonin. So, I need you to take some time out and really have a look at all sources of light making their way into your bedroom.

Move all mobile phones, iPad, televisions out of your bedroom for good. Not only will this help you get rid of the blue light, it will also give you much-needed time when you can add some relaxation activities like meditation or reading which ultimately support you in getting the sleep you often yearn for.

In addition to the blue light, you will also need to find any other sources of light that could be interfering with you getting the sleep you need. This could be that minuscule sliver on moonlight that finds its way through your blinds. And if you’re looking at a practical way of getting rid of this light and create a ‘dark’ room, then I highly recommend you invest in the BlackoutEZ window covering. They’re the same cost of some decent blinds or blackout curtains, so why not get the luxury experience.

So, what you’re basically need to be doing is turn off the lights in your bedroom and anything other than complete and utter darkness NEEDS TO GO!!!

2.      Time’s Up for Your Clock

What I have found to be common among insomniacs is that they tend to watch the clock. I bet you know the feeling of trying in vain to drift off to sleep for what many times seems like hours only to end up sitting up, checking the clock, and trying to work out how many hours of sleep you can cram in before you need to start the new day and function with some normality. But then the problem arises that you don’t get to sleep so you spend some more time checking the clock and recalculating the amount of sleep you’ll get. And so, this cycle continues for the rest of the evening causing you more anxiety.

I recommend no clocks or time temptations in the bedroom.  However, if your like most people (including me), and need an alarm clock to get you up in the morning, make sure to place it as far away from you as possible.

3.      Make Your Bed

You’re probably wondering what on earth making your bed has to do with you getting a good nights sleep?

There are numerous studies that show by you making your bed each day, it helps you feel less anxious when you need to get into bed.

A survey conducted by OnePoll: out of 2,000 people who were asked about their bed-making habits, 48 percent of bed-makers said the quality of their sleep has increased, whereas 30 percent of non-bed-makers reported a decrease in sleep quality.  Bed makers were also more likely to feel more cleanly, motivated and productive.

Okay, so I’m not saying that with these tips you’ll have miraculously conquered your insomnia, but the more action you take to give yourself a decent chance of sleep will better increase your ability to drift off to sleep and get those Zzzzz’s that you need in order to thrive.

If after you’ve tried these tips and you’re still struggling, then maybe it’s time we had a chat and find out how I can help you sleep better.

This time around, I’ll be going somewhat out of my comfort zone and do something I don’t usually do…

I am going to speculate and hypothesize!

If you are part of my regular audience, then you would know that I am big on proven, scientific facts, but today I’m all about free styling

Okay so here goes…

As parents, we all get that there is often one parent who assumes the majority of the responsibilities when it comes to the kids. Now I’m not talking about the usual idea that mom is the one who holds down the fort while dad goes out and work to support the family. But in most cases and with most of the families that I have worked with, there is one parent who assumes a bit more responsibility when it comes to baby-related tasks. It might be 60/40 etc., but there will almost always be one caregiver who just has that extra bit to do!

Now the parent who assumes the bulk of the responsibility is usually the one who handles the main things which are feeding and the bedtime routine. You’re probably smiling as you read this because, you are most probably the parent tasked with these daily activities. So, here is where I’d like to make a small suggestion… my suggestion is that you swap these roles!

Okay before everyone goes crazy, here me out, but remember this is just my theory and there is no peer-reviewed case studies backing this theory up.

Older babies, particularly from about the age of 6 months and up usually have sleep struggles related to their dependency on what we like to refer to as a ‘sleep prop’. This is usually something like being rocked to sleep, pushed in a stroller to help the sleep process or the king of all sleep props, being nursed to sleep or fed to sleep.

Helping your baby learn the skills to sleep through the night ways heavily on severing that dependence on their chosen sleep prop so that they are able to get back to sleep on their own after waking from a sleep cycle. This is one of the most important skills that will help your little one.

But as with all other skills, this one also takes times to develop and it’s highly unlikely that your baby will master it in a few nights. So, prepare yourself for a few nights of your baby being unable to sleep and end up grumpy and tired, but you have to stay the course and push through.

I must admit that I don’t blame your baby or any other one that struggles with this. I mean, I need a glass of water on my bedside table along with my favorite pillow for me to get some shut-eye. If that was taken away, trust me I’d also be kinda grumpy.

So, here is what we need to do. We need to keep the confusion to a bare minimum even though, let’s face it, we won’t be able to get rid of it in one night. So, letting the parent who doesn’t usually handle the bedtime routine run the show, your baby will be less likely to get confused when things don’t go the way they’re used to. Yes, there will be some protesting, but because you baby won’t have the usual face getting them ready for bed, they’ll tend to stop fussing sooner.

So, whether you’re well on your way to supporting your baby master these new set of skills in becoming an independent sleeper, or you’re just getting started, I strongly suggest you give this strategy a try. Now, I understand it may not seem fair for the parent tasked with this responsibility because let’s be honest, this whole sleep things are not something that you can fix in one go. There will be some fighting involved from your baby’s side and the one leading on this will probably not be getting the sleep they need. It’s going to rough; I will not lie to you.

But now I have some good news!!!

This is just a temporary uphill, and you’ll reap the rewards tenfold. Once your baby has mastered this amazing new skill, your life will have changed considerably.

So many parents who I have worked with have stressed how much of a game-changer it was to be able to leave their baby with a relative or baby-sitter because it meant they could spend some time away from home to reconnect and bond again.

The best part of all is, everyone benefits.

Baby sleeps better and thrives and you get to catch up with some quality time that you may have had to sacrifice.

So, do this one thing… Discuss how you will approach this with your partner as well as all the added benefits that come along with your little one sleeping through the night!

If you’re still not 100% sure of how to approach any of this and would prefer the support of someone who knows the drill, then let’s chat!

Is your little one waking in the middle of the night? And when I say wake, I mean like really waking up for huge chunks at a time.

If you’re dealing with a baby who sleeps this way, you will know exactly what I’m talking about. This isn’t the usual pop in the nursery for a quick comfort session for a few moments. This is a middle of the night rave!

This all too familiar phenomenon has quite a few names. Segmented sleep, bifurcated sleep, split nights; to name a few. But simply put, it’s where your little one gets some good sleep for 4-6 hours and then wakes up looking completely re-energized and happy as a clam, ready to start the day in the middle of the night. And this may last for hours at a time.

Contrary to what we may believe, this isn’t some strange occurrence at all. In fact, way before the invention of the electric bulb, people would sleep for a few hours at a time, then wake for an hour or two. People would often use the time to read by candle light, have sex, or even visit neighbors! 

In today’s modern society, things are much different. We go to bed and hope to hell we get a great night’s rest and wake up refreshed in the morning.

But for some reason, your baby just didn’t get the memo.

Baby 3 am parties are not as unusual as you may think. Tell if this sounds familiar.  Baby settles fairly quickly at bedtime and then wakes up to party their little ass off for about an hour or so, then without a single care in the world, just nods off again without a care about how you, the parents, need to drag themselves through an entire day on an empty sleep tank.

So before I get to the solution, which I think you’re ready to hear, let’s explore why this problem is present in the first place. We have to take two things into consideration, one being our circadian rhythm (our natural tendency to fall asleep when it gets darker and then be awake when it’s light) and then secondly our homeostatic sleep drive (also known as sleep pressure, which builds up as a result of the time spent awake).

So what happens in the case of your baby, is that the sleep pressure reaches its peak at around bedtime so as soon as they go down, they are lights out. As this pressure then lessens through sleep, the circadian rhythm steps in and then takes over. 

When it comes to split nights, there could be two reasons for the waking:

1. Baby is not getting to bed early enough.
2. Baby is going to bed too early.

STOP! Don’t throw your phone or computer out the window with that contradictory explanation.

If baby ‘s bedtime routine is too late, this pressure builds up and makes the brain believe that something is up and increases the cortisol levels. Cortisol is the hormone that is responsible for helping the body deal with stress.

Our brains are still a bit primitive thinking that we need to be on the alert from threats entering the cave, so this makes it tough at bedtime for baby to get to sleep. The cortisol is what affects the baby’s sleep pattern which often leads to these morning rendezvous at 3am.

If this is the case in your home, then consider yourself one of the lucky few. To get baby back to bed, you’d just need to reassure them with some comfort to fall back to sleep on their own. You could consider moving her bedtime up a bit for a few nights.  Also, be sure you are not flicking on bright lights.  I only recommend a dim, amber colored light.  The Hooga Book Light is amazing for this, because you have control over the brightness, turn it on/off when needed and is extremely portable.

Then we get to the opposite scenario! What if your baby’s bedtime is just too early.

If your baby is one of the few who gets adequate sleep during the day and has an early bedtime, it could be that not enough sleep pressure has built up to keep them sleeping even after their circadian rhythm takes over to help them sleep through which leads to the 3am wake up. And then what happens is that they are not tired enough to go back to sleep, so they party for about an hour until the sleep pressure eventually builds up.

As a mom and sleep consultant I’m all for early bedtimes and I believe too little sleep is more of a problem than too much sleep! But if your child is going through these “split nights”, it could be worth changing their schedule a bit, so they get the best amount of sleep and so do you. 

Often, we want the little one’s to get to bed earlier, especially if the day time naps sucked. In this case try to prevent doing this too many nights in a row.. We don’t want baby overtired, but we also want to prevent them from being in a crib for longer than what they can actually sleep.

If your little one has had a rough day and the naps weren’t that great, it’s absolutely okay to get them to bed a bit earlier than usual. But make sure that you try and get them back to their usual routine as soon as possible and preferably by starting the next morning.

I bet this might sound like some perfectly orchestrated Broadway musical and yes it can be somewhat complicated, but once you understand all the bits involved and understand where you can make some tweaks with your child’s routine, your baby will sleep better.

And lastly, remember this is not an overnight fix. If your baby has developed a pattern, getting them out of it will take some time. Like any other issue of this kind, you can expect some protest from your little person but don’t lose sight of your end goal. Remember you are playing an important part in your child’s future — you are teaching them the very important skill of sleep which will impact their overall well-being. Allow patience to lead and be consistent. Before you know it,  you and your baby will be sleeping like rock stars and getting the sleep you both need and deserve.

I bet this sounds familiar to you.

After a good night’s rest, your little one wakes and you go about getting them ready through feeding, changing, getting in a play session, maybe take them outside for a little walk then move on to gently rock them to sleep for their first daytime nap. And not minutes later, they awake all fussy and super irritable and despite your best efforts, they outright refuse to go back down to sleep.

A half hour or so rolls by and you finally throw in the towel in the hopes that they will go down easier for their afternoon nap. Unfortunately, to your dismay, your little one goes through the same process as earlier – and again they morph into a little ball of unhappiness!

Just like food, unfortunately babies have the last word when it comes to sleep as well, so trying to fight them on this is completely futile!

Unfortunately, just leaving your child awake in their rooms won’t work, but here is what will!

Just like us, babies sleep in what we like to refer to as cycles. Initially we start off in a lighter state of sleep where we are still easily awoken, but as the sleep progresses, so too do we move into a deeper stage of sleep where we are harder to wake. Now this right here is the good stuff!

This deep sleep is the sleep our bodies need to heal and almost reset to a more energized state. When we reach the end of this deep cycle of sleep, we slowly transition to the lighter sleep cycle where we usually awake for a few moments, only to drift back to sleep again. And so the cycle continues.

In babies, all this can take as little as 30 – 45 minutes, which means that them waking after only 30 – 45 minutes is completely normal. If they didn’t, this would definitely be something we should be concerned about! I know you’re probably thinking “but hey, I have friends whose kids sleep for hours at a time!”. But these babies are simply taking all those bits of sleep and connecting them like a sleep chain of sorts. The only difference between your little one and theirs, is that their child has learnt one of the most important sleep skills children learn – how to fall back to sleep! And this juicy topic is the central subject of this blog. Once your baby has learnt and mastered this skill, they’ll be able to remain sleeping which leads to a happy, well-rested baby. And as a new parent, this time you have while the baby is asleep is something where you can have some time to yourself, most probably doing some parent-related thing as we all end up doing!

Anyway, I digress, let’s go back to the start where you were getting your baby ready to take a nap and you started with the gentle rocking and then gently putting her in the crib. Well, you need to STOP right there! By doing this you are inserting yourself as a “sleep prop” in the nap routine and probably the nighttime sleep routine as well. If you’re not yet aware, a sleep prop is something that your baby becomes dependent on to sleep, and they cannot do for themselves. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you should become a stone and not rock your baby, or sing to them, or just absolutely love her like crazy! You can do all this, but avoid doing it up until she’s asleep. Regardless of whether you’re putting your baby down for a daytime nap or for her to sleep at night, you need to be putting baby to sleep awake.

I’ll be honest, for the first few days the little one will put up a bit of a fight as they do with anything new. But just imagine this… After those short few days your child will be sleeping like a superstar where both you and your little one will benefit from this! Baby will be happier, and you will have reduced your stress level a great deal.

So here are few pointers to extending your baby’s naps: 

• Make sure to keep the room as dark as possible. BlackoutEZ Window Coverings are the best for long term use and 100% blackout., but in a pinch, heavy duty aluminum foil and/or black garbage bags and some green frogs painters tapes will work for the short term., even some black garbage bags will do the trick. It doesn’t have to look beautiful; it just needs to work.
• Another great thing is a white noise machine, and they are especially useful if you need to buffer the noise of a barking dark, older sibling or outside traffic. Just be sure to keep it away from baby’s ears and ensure it is not too loud, 50 decibels or lower.
• Put a temperature/humidity gauge in the room, to ensure it’s between 68-72 F. A room that is too warm or too dry almost always results in restless sleep.

If you have tried all this or you’re open to getting to the root cause with a sleep professional, let’s set-up a free sleep evaluation call. It may not seem so now, but the solution to your cranky baby is easier than you think!

You’ve found your way here because like many other parents, your child tends to sleep in awkward positions and has started standing in the crib. Or, you’ve heard that it can be an issue and you’re looking to learn how to deal with it ahead of time. Or… like many people, random blogs interest you and that’s what’s keeping you here? Whatever your reason, I’m going to do my best to ensure you walk away from this post feeling like it has added serious value to your life.

So, your baby has learned to stand up! 

Firstly, congratulations on this amazing milestone! It’s truly such an exciting time to be a parent, and this is a huge step into the world of development that’s coming your way very soon. On that point, many babies run into a bit of an issue when they first learn to stand up; they can stand up, but they haven’t learned to get back down! During the day, this doesn’t present much of an issue. Your little one can spend all day practicing going from a standing position to seated, all while you’re next to them helping them through it.

But once nighttime hits, it becomes a different ball game. I know the Catch-22 this puts parents in, believe me. On the one hand, you can’t just leave your baby in a situation where they might fall down and hurt themselves, but on the other, if you keep going in and laying them down, they don’t learn how to do it themselves. What’s more, they’ll quickly learn that standing up and making a fuss is a pretty effective way to get mom or dad back into their room and paying attention to them.

There’s a fine line that we need to walk in order to help baby figure out how to solve this little situation they find themselves in without creating a bad habit that could sabotage their sleep. First, if the crib isn’t already on its lowest setting, be sure to do that before the next sleep. Little ones are extremely top-heavy and depending on a variety of variables, can unexpectedly end up going over the top rail. Safety first!

If your baby hasn’t started this behavior yet, let me warn you, it’s frustrating.

More so than the average middle of the night wake-up, because the solution seems totally obvious. You’ll likely find yourself saying “Just lie down, already!” more than a few times before this gets resolved. As with all things in parenting, patience is essential here. Keep in mind that your baby may not know how to go from a standing position to a sitting one on their own, and they may not realize yet that sleep comes a whole lot easier when you lie down. Remind yourself of this when they wake you up for the fifth or sixth time in three hours because they’ve woken up and gotten back on their feet again, fussing because they can’t get back to sleep.

The quickest way through the first part of the equation is to develop that standing-to-sitting skill, so during the day, have your practice going from standing to sitting any chance you get. When baby pulls themselves up to a standing position, try putting their favorite toy or stuffie on the ground close by, gently encouraging them to go from a standing position back down to ground level in order to get their reward.

Once they’ve got that skill mastered, however, that second hurdle may still be an issue. Being as little as they are, they may not realize that great sleep means they need to be in a comfortable position. It seems like it should be instinctive, I know, but a lot of things seem that way when you’ve been doing them all your life. When you’ve only been around for nine or ten months, it might not seem so intuitive, so again, patience is the key. The goal is not to create a situation where baby starts depending on you to do the work for them, so avoid repeatedly laying them down when they stand up in the crib. Do it up to 3 times at first to show them what’s expected, but once that’s established, switch to a more suggestive approach that doesn’t involve contact. Lower yourself to mattress level, sitting on the floor is great, and use a key phrase, like, “Lay your head down,” or “Come lie down, baby,” and before too long, they should start to connect the dots and realize that lying down is the best way to get to sleep.

Remember, even though it might appear that your little one is fighting sleep at times, that’s almost never the case. They want to sleep, but if you haven’t noticed already with most milestones, they often love to repeat the process, many, many, many times before moving on. Until they have mastered this new milestone, you will need to help them figure it out without doing the work for them, and they’ll take care of the rest as soon as they develop a little confidence and ability.

And just one last little thing before I leave you…

Hats off to all of the single parents doing the amazing work they do, but if you’re raising a baby with a partner, formulate a plan where you’re on the same page. Presenting a divided front is going to confuse baby even further in a situation where they already have so much to figure out. Both parents will need to respond in the same way for your expectations to be clear, and you’ll see results a whole lot quicker if you’re working from the same playbook.

As always, be calm, patient, and consistent. The hard work you put in now will pay off a thousand times over when your little one is sleeping soundly through the night and happily going down for naps during the day again.

One of the biggest mysteries for the human race is sleep! 

When we look at it from an evolutionary point of view, sleep should have been one of those things we should have stopped doing many millennia ago. Thinking about the fact that when we sleep, we are practically unconscious for 1 whole third of a day which leaves us open to so many dangers our predecessors faced in the early ages, leaves me wondering how on earth we ever survived as a species.

So, it goes to show that sleep is actually super beneficial to us and our overall well-being. If sleep lacked this level of importance, those ‘lucky’ few who could survive and thrive on less sleep would have climbed the ladder on the gene pool ages ago, and those of us who need a good night’s rest would have eventually succumbed to some or other danger like being eaten alive. On a side note, I am so happy that I was born now as it’d really suck to have been eaten in my sleep while snoozing away in some cave! Even though so much research has been conducted over the years, the scientific community is yet to provide us with a solid answer as to why we sleep. 

But, as many researching sleep and countless new moms would tell you, a good amount of sleep is good for you in so many ways.

All of us at some time in our lives have experienced how hard it is to focus and function when we’ve had less sleep. Trying to take in the information presented to us while being sleep-deprived is not the only battle we have to face. If we want to get into the technical side of things, this is only a third. The learning and memory side of things are divided into 3 parts – acquisition, consolidation and recall. In simple terms, you first need to receive the information, then it needs to settle into your memory and finally, you would need to able to tap into this stored information when you’re doing something like watch ‘Jeopardy’!

During the learning and memory process, acquisition and recall occur when someone is awake while consolidation “takes place during sleep through the strengthening of the neural connections that form our memories. The overall evidence suggests that adequate sleep each day is very important for learning and memory.

So, if you are able to focus on whatever it is, you’re learning on minimal amounts of sleep, that information unfortunately won’t go through the proper processes to be stored in your brain for you to access it at a later time, which in most cases leaves you drawing a blank when needing to access this information. You know that look your beloved husband gets, that glazed-over look, when you ask him about something the two of you discussed a while back? Yes, that one!

I have and will always be a firm believer that the pursuit of knowledge should be a lifelong one even beyond our basic schooling, but as we get older, learning becomes more and more of an option. For your kids on the other hand, learning is their primary activity for the first 18 or 20 years of their lives, so looking at the amount of information they need to retain, sleep becomes more important to them to ensure optimal learning.

We all know that when we are running on empty and haven’t been getting a good night’s rest, we tend to be more irritable and short-tempered. A study done at the University of Pennsylvania illustrated that study participants who had been experiencing even partial sleep deprivation were reporting feelings of anger, sadness, mental exhaustion and stress.

This information is however not anything new. We all know that we get negatively emotional when we don’t get enough good quality sleep, but why is that? Shouldn’t lack of sleep have the same effect as a few glasses of wine for instance? As I said earlier, sleep is one of the many mysteries of the human race and much still needs to be done in terms of research. Some researchers suggest that sleep deprivation stimulates activity in the amygdala, the little almond-shaped part of your brain that is responsible for feelings including anger and fear. These heightened feelings can contribute to overall stress as well as hostility towards others, which is often why you’ve lost it at your co-worker when they asked you a random and usually normal question.

Apart from sleep being an integral part of the learning process as well as our emotional well-being, what are the other benefits of having a healthy amount of sleep? 

Sleep, like eating and breathing, has a huge amount of health benefits. “Sleep services all aspects of our body in one way or another: molecular, energy balance, as well as intellectual function, alertness and mood,” says Dr. Merrill Mitler, a sleep expert and neuroscientist at the National Institutes of Health. “Sleep affects almost every tissue in our bodies,”

The part of the population who regularly get a good night’s rest of between 7-9 hours have significantly lowered rates of high blood pressure, obesity, depression, inflammation, heart failure and heart disease etc. This group of people also report performing better at work, take fewer sick days and have a higher satisfaction in their sex lives as opposed those getting less than 7 hours of sleep a night.

So, with all the research and clear benefits, sleep is definitely an essential part of a healthy lifestyle. But then you have a baby and all that changes right? Since you brought this baby into this world your role has now shifted, and you’re expected to sacrifice your sleep for a few years in order to best respond to what your baby needs. And for some reason, babies need you more right in the middle of the night. This is just one of the many parenting myths doing its rounds for as long as I can remember. 

Here is the truth though, your baby needs even more sleep than you because of all the internal magic going on getting your little human ready for the big, big world. 

Those little bodies may look like dolls while they are asleep, but there is so much magic happening that we cannot see. Some of what happens while your little one is asleep includes growth hormones that are being secreted to help your baby gain weight, cytokines are being produced to build up your baby’s immunity and produce antibodies. All these highly advanced systems are laying the foundation for your baby’s growth and development and this will continue through childhood and into adolescence, if they are given the proper chance to. Mother nature is doing all the hard work, all your little one’s need to be doing is closing their eyes and drifting off to sleep. As this is my field of expertise, I still see many parents being told babies just don’t sleep well and that they should expect them to be waking up 7 to 8 times during the night. So, before I continue, I would like to outright say that you have absolutely NO idea of what you’re talking about! The advice these people are sharing is not only wrong, but it’s extremely harmful too. Telling parents to suck it up and accept that their baby’s sleep issues are just a normal part of the process is preventing this problem from being addressed and fixed. And this is a huge concern for not only the children, but the rest of the family as well. Yes, parents need their sleep but having their babies sleep well is not just about them. As I stated earlier, when a baby is not able to sleep properly, this messes with their natural and much-needed developmental process. Sleep issues can be seen in the same light as an ear infection and just like the infection, there is a remedy for it. Many people telling parents to bite it out is doing them more of a disservice and this needs to stop. When we allow ourselves and our children to believe that inadequate sleep is acceptable, they carry it over into adolescence which in turn creates adults who then don’t value the importance of sleep. And so, the cycle continues.

So, to all those new mothers out there, I am here to tell you today that you don’t have to accept the idea that sleep has now become a luxury you need to sacrifice for a few years. If your baby is not sleeping well, let’s address it. 

Remember, you’re not selfish for doing this. You are positively contributing to your baby’s life not only to benefit them now, but this will carry on benefiting them right into adulthood and you know what? You’ll have taught them the importance of sleep which they will then pass on to their children!

Disclaimer: Let me just remind you that I am not a qualified doctor and neither a professional scientist in the realm of sleep. I am a certified sleep consultant with a fascination for everything sleep-related and as a result, I follow and stay updated with new research in the field of sleep.

When I write posts like these, I like to make sure that I have evidence that has been evaluated to support my articles. But with this article, I am focusing on something with a bit less evidence and somewhat more of a ‘theory’. Nonetheless it is super interesting for anyone who may have a ‘restless’ baby.

I get so many parents telling me that they have a restless baby. And when I hear this, I have a few questions for these parents to determine if this may not be due a ‘sleep prop’. For those who may not know, a sleep prop is something that a baby relies on to get to sleep. Sleep props can include anything from breastfeeding to sleep, stroller rides, use of a pacifier etc.

Often, I do find that this is the problem and, once we address it, things get better within the space of a few nights.

But this is not always the case – you will find the exception to the rule. There are some babies who are more ‘restless’ than most and it goes beyond dependency on a prop. These babies just find it harder to get into deep sleep because they tend to toss and turn more.

The first I heard about this interesting theory was during the 2019 World Sleep Conference and I found it super interesting. I held back on writing about it as I felt there had not been enough research done yet. And although still in it’s early days of research, I thought that now may be the perfect time to share what I’ve learnt so far.

So, at some point we’ve all heard about iron, the essential mineral needed by our bodies to help the blood carry around the oxygen. This therefore makes iron an essential mineral needed in our bodies for optimal performance.

Did you know that iron deficiency or Anemia is one of the most common nutritional deficiencies worldwide?

Most of these cases are found in developing countries in Africa and Asia but the numbers in North America and Europe are still alarmingly high. There are approximately 2.8 million visits to doctors annually in the US where iron deficiency is the main diagnosis.

The point? A whole lot of people are not getting enough iron!

Somewhere along the line, you must have heard about something called Restless Leg Syndrome or RLS for short. If you have not, RLS (aka Willis-Ekbom Disease) is the feeling of needing to move the lower limbs which is often accompanied with a strange tingling sensation that some would describe as an ‘internal itch’. Moving around usually provides temporary relief and the symptoms occur more while lying down or sleeping.

According to the National Institute of Health, “In most cases, the cause of RLS is unknown. However, RLS has a genetic component and can be found in families where the onset of symptoms is before age 40. Specific gene variants have been associated with RLS. Evidence indicates that low levels of iron in the brain also may be responsible for RLS”

So, here’s the million-dollar question – could RLS be the thing that is preventing some babies from getting the sleep they need as is an iron deficiency the cause?

It may seem a bit far-fetched and that is the reason why I made it clear right at the start that at the moment it is still just a theory. But there is more information that we need to look at in my opinion before we just push it aside.

In a 2008 joint study from the Southern Illinois University and Carle Clinic Association, 1.9% and 2% of children and adolescents respectively were shown to have Restless Leg Syndrome. A 2020 study from the BC Children’s Hospital Research Institute entitled Iron deficiency and sleep – A scoping review, found that iron supplementation was tremendously effective in treating a number of sleep disorders, including RLS. Sample sizes were small, and the data collection process leaves a little to be desired, but it’s still a good indication that iron plays a big role in the quality of sleep.

RLS is not like other diseases that can be picked up by certain markers or proteins through a test. It is mainly done by your GP when he evaluates the symptoms presented by his patient. This is also the reason why the only people who have been diagnosed are those able to describe what they are feeling and experiencing.

So you guessed it, this excludes the little people as found in a 2005 study.

A 2005 Mayo Clinic study established rates of restless legs syndrome in children, finding that, “almost 6 percent of children seen in Mayo’s sleep clinic have the disease. The study also notes that the most common risk factors for the disease in kids are family history of restless legs syndrome and iron deficiency.”

Let’s go back to the 2019 World Sleep Conference where one of the speakers highlighted the theory that RLS or a similar disorder might be playing a role in some babies who seem to be more restless than others.

Restless Sleep Disorder, as researchers have described it, hasn’t yet been researched enough, but evidence thus far, suggests that it could be an early variant of restless leg syndrome which in some cases could be caused by insufficient iron levels. Or, as described in their conclusion, “We have characterized clinically and polysomnographically children with RSD and attempted a new diagnostic category. We also have identified an association between RDS and iron deficiency. Future larger studies are needed to confirm these findings and evaluate the natural progression of restless sleepers.”

Once again, I am not trying to offer medical advice. I just felt that the whole research in this field is extremely fascinating and I wanted to share this with all of you. If you have one of the more ‘active’ sleepers, it could be worth your while to chat to your pediatrician about checking your baby’s iron levels. It may not be the cause of their sleepless nights, but anemia is something you would want to get seen to sooner rather than later.

If you are on the other end where you baby relies on a sleep prop to get them some zzzzz’s, I am here to help you with that problem. It may be a bit more ‘difficult’ than giving them an iron supplement, but I can promise you that it will be well worth the effort to get you and your family the sleep you deserve.

Have you ever let your emotions get the best of you and yelled at your child?

I’m sheepishly raising my hand over here.

Not proud of it though, because I know I’m a better parent when I keep my cool. It’s the total opposite of that wonderful feeling I get when I manage to resolve a situation through a calm, rational analysis of the problem, followed up by a few suggestions on how to solve it. My child quickly settles down and starts considering the potential solutions I’ve offered, and before you know it, the situation is completely under control.

Aren’t those moments just the best? Like a superpower you deserve a cape for!

There’s a lot to be said for keeping calm around our children, and it goes well beyond making us feel like we’re good parents.

A 2014 study in Psychological Science, conducted jointly between researchers from the University of California, San Francisco, and New York University, separated mothers and their infants for a brief period of time, then exposed the mothers to some mild negative stressors. Upon being reunited with their babies, the infants embodied the same negative stress their mothers had experienced. It’s not known exactly how those emotions were transferred, but even without being exposed to the stressor itself, the infants sensed that their mother was stressed and emulated those emotions.

Another study from the University of California, Riverside in 2018, showed that parents who remained calm while helping their kids undertake a frustrating laboratory challenge helped their kids to stay calm and focused as well.

So where am I going with this? It means that whether you’re stressed or calm, you’re probably passing those feelings onto your little one. Your emotions are, quite literally, contagious.

Now, stress is a part of a parent’s life. There’s no avoiding it. Unless we’re blessed with some kind of superpower, we’re going to go off on our kids once in a while. I’m not suggesting you should beat yourself up in those moments, only that we should strive to minimize them. We should always be aspiring towards those superpower moments.

As a seasoned Sleep Consultant who has worked with hundreds of parents one-on-one, I’ve seen the difference in sleep outcomes when the parents are calm/confident vs. frustrated/anxious/stressed when making changes to their child’s sleep. Heck, I have even seen a slight improvement when parents simply book a call with me! They relax a bit because they are going to talk to me, and low and behold, their child’s sleep improves a bit. But don’t be fooled, real changes have to happen in order to solve most sleep issues.

If you’ve read this far, you’re probably looking for answers to help with sleep training your child. Which means you’re already sleep-deprived, and when we’re not getting enough sleep, we’re short-tempered, easily agitated, and more likely to raise your voice and give in to feelings of frustration. In short, you’re likely to be a little bit stressed out, and as we’ve seen, that stress permeates our kids, which stresses them out, which cranks up cortisol production, and there you have it. You’ve barely gotten started and already sabotaging any success.

I’m not saying it’s easy, but before you even start the process of teaching your baby/child to fall asleep independently, I recommend you get yourself into a headspace where you commit to yourself that, no matter how tough things get, you’re going to try your absolute hardest to stay calm. Practice some deep breathing exercises, meditate, do a little yoga, or anything else you can think of to put you into a calm, tolerant, accepting state of mind.

If you’re working with a spouse/partner, I suggest you do all of this together and discuss ahead of time who’s taking what shift so there’s no arguing during the night. And remember, if things go as expected, most babies start showing huge improvement by around night three, so relief is just on the other side of that hill.

And when the dust settles and your little one is sleeping through the night, and you managed to get through the process without giving in to feelings of frustration and guilt, you’re going to feel like you just won the World Parenting Championship. Now you just need to decide on what color your cape should be. Decisions, decisions.

Sleep-filled nights are right around the corner! So, have a plan, be patient, be calm, and it’ll all be behind you soon.

Ready to go from frustrated and exhausted to calm/confident and well-rested? Let’s chat! Set-up a free 15-minute sleep evaluation today.

With the global spread of COVID-19 not going away anytime soon, I put together a pandemic sleep survival guide for those who are struggling. With the virus being highly infectious, many countries have gone into lockdown to prevent the virus from spreading. Media outlets are regularly posting updates on the global impact this virus is having on both economies as well the health of individuals as well.

All these things coupled with being forced to stay indoors and having your entire routine completely turned upside down is bound to cause stress and anxiety. In addition, the fear of the “unknown” greatly adds to this anxiety.

Fear and anxiety are two of the most powerful emotions in not only children, but adults as well. These emotions can have a huge effect on your level and quality of sleep. When your sleep quality decreases and your sleeping less, the body cannot function in top form.

A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP IS NOW MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVER

Low quality sleep and decreased periods of rest will drastically increase the effects of stress and anxiety, according to new research published in Nature Human Behaviour. As a result, concentrating on daily tasks including school and work become increasingly difficult. People tend to be more irritable and get easily agitated. This then snowballs and causes increased issues with your health and even the relationships with the people around you.

If you, like many others, are having issues getting a decent night’s rest, here are a few tips that can help in getting your peaceful sleep back:

• Groundhog’s Day isn’t that bad

Routines give babies, kids and adults a sense of security. Knowing what’s on the schedule gives a road map for the day, and that knowledge makes us confident and puts our minds at ease.  Even though we may need to make some serious concessions, there’s a lot to be said for keeping things predictable and consistent wherever possible.

• Let’s just embrace screen time

In my case, and in the case of nearly every other parent I know, we’ve slightly upped screen time by about three thousand percent. None of us are thrilled about it.  But ABC Mouse has been a life saver in my house and my little one think’s she is just playing games.  Extra screen time for the kids might just be the difference between a peaceful afternoon and a mutual meltdown.

However, there is too much of a good thing.  Electronic screens emit a lot of blue light which can interfere with the body’s natural circadian rhythm, so go ahead and let your kids indulge in extra screen time, but turn them off at least two hours before bedtime. (The screens, not your kids.)

• Order Up!

When it comes to mealtimes, again, try to stay as consistent as possible. Few things affect our bodies’ sense of timing like when we eat.  Allowing meal and snack times to fluctuate too much can upend your little one’s schedule (and yours.)  Sugary snacks will likely leave them with too much energy come bedtime and the occasional upset tummy, so keep an eye on how much junk food they’re getting into. Wink, wink.

• If you build it, they will come

With everyone being housebound, your kids are likely going to have a ton of excess energy. With no playground to let loose on and no friends to chase around, you’re going to need to get creative to help them tire themselves out. Getting outside is a good idea. Sunlight will help maintain the circadian rhythm and a bike ride or even a brisk walk can help reduce feelings of confinement and keep you and your kids from going stir crazy. Building a fort out of furniture and cushions can also be a great project to keep your kids occupied and provide them with some stuff to climb on too.  I’ve overseen the “construction” of several of the last few weeks, and I’m quite impressed at the creativity.

•  Early to bed, early to rise…

Now, since many of us are no longer under any obligation to get up for work and school, we might get to thinking that this is a good opportunity for everybody to catch up on some sleep by turning off the morning alarms. I’m tempted to do so myself, but sticking to the usual bedtimes and wake up times is really important. Predictability and structure are, again, sources of comfort for our kids, so even though there’s no morning bell, it’s still a good idea to keep things on schedule.

•  Deep breath in, deep breath out

For older kids and adults, some deep breathing exercises during their bedtime routine can help to settle them down at the end of the day. I’m not suggesting they start meditation classes or anything, but deep breathing can be a bit of a stress reliever and cue to your mind and body that it is time to sleep.

• Don’t panic

Outside of the sleep realm, there are a couple of other tips I’d like to offer you. Our children are perceptive little creatures, and they most likely know that there’s something serious happening at the moment. They might not bring it up too much, but there’s likely something pinging around in the back of their heads that has them a little bit on edge. This can be amplified if they see that their parents are concerned and on edge as well. So, do try to keep the atmosphere cheery and light. I know it’s not easy given the circumstances, but stressed out kids aren’t going to improve the situation. If they have questions, of course you should be honest and forthcoming, but your attitude towards the subject will work wonders in keeping their minds at ease.

• Focus on the good stuff

Last but not least, try not to watch the news coverage with the kids around. They’re always listening and hearing phrases like, “death toll,” and “no room for bodies” is going to increase their stress levels. It’s important to stay informed, but do so after they’ve gone to bed.

I look forward to getting back to a time when we can discuss less serious things with each other again, and look back at this time as one where we all came together (even while we’re so far apart) and made the best of a really bad situation.

Who knows. We may end up remembering this time with some affinity for the opportunity it’s given us to reconnect and get to know more about our kids.

Sometimes, in situations as stressful and uncertain as the COVID-19 pandemic, it becomes necessary to seek the help of a professional.

If you or your kids are suffering in the sleep area and would like to nip the issues in the bud before they escalate, I’m still here for you virtually.

To book a quick and free sleep evaluation to discuss how I am able to help your family, please click below.

Sometimes, we only need a phone conversation, and I am able to give you the information you need to get your child sleeping great again.  However, that is not always the case. Sometimes kids need a more personal approach. I get to know your child and family first, then use that information to create a customized sleep plan that is best suited to address your child’s sleep issues. Then, I am there to guide and support your family during the changes needed to promote sleep success.

​Taking the guess work out of sleep is what I do!

Still not sure about hiring a sleep consultant? Pop over to my blog “Benefits of a Sleep Consultant” to see how you and your family can benefit.